1. Do- Hang out in Raval
If you’re capable of getting out of bed and putting on anything that even resembles clothing then you’ve completed half the battle. If you’re going to hang out anywhere it must be Raval. Here in Raval you will blend in nicely with your pyjama bottoms, yesterday’s t-shirt, and the Guinness hat from last night’s Irish pub that you are using to simultaneously hide your unkempt hair and shade the sun from your burning eyes. Literally anything goes in Raval. And who knows, your ensemble might even pass as hipster cool.
2. Don’t- Go shopping down Passeig de Gràcia
Apparently an ensemble deemed cool in Raval is completely unacceptable by Chanel standards. And apparently pressing your nose against the Chanel window whilst sweating out last night’s alcohol and counting the leftovers of last night’s beer money isn’t very high fashion either. If you’re on Passeig de Gràcia, let it be to go to McDonald’s.
3. Do- Go someplace where lying face down on the ground is acceptable
You’ve woken up half drunk and you’ve been lulled into the false sense of security that everything is going to be alright. It’s not, your hangover hasn’t even begun yet, and when it does you’re going to need to be somewhere where you can lie down, stat. The obvious place to be is the beach, where hangover must-do’s such as napping, eating crisps and hiding behind dark shades are all an option. You can even get yourself a massage if needs be, and if you ask nicely she will focus entirely on your temples. You’re welcome.
4. Don’t- Go to La Boqueria on La Rambla
La Boqueria—a world of colour, splendour and delight—when you’re not hungover. But go on the morning after the night before and it’s a world of pig heads, fish guts and a variety of indistinct meat smells. Aka—hangover hell. And while you’re at it, avoid La Rambla, nothing worse than watching tourists drink expensive fishbowls of Don Simon sangria whilst your stomach is churning red wine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
5. Do- Go somewhere where drinking again is acceptable
If your stomach isn’t repeating red wine then it’s time for a hair of the dog. The rules of morning drinking are as follows- If it’s in a coffee, or accompanied by a coffee- acceptable. If it’s mixed with orange or tomato juice- completely acceptable and if it’s in a flute shaped glass you’re a glamour queen. It’s a well-known fact that brunch was invented to allow morning time drinking, and what better excuse than to shake that hangover. I recommend Bruch and Cake on C/Enrique Granados where you can get a mimosa (or 8) with your posh brunch (Just don’t wear the Guinness hat—this is a nice place)
6. Don’t- Get on the metro
For the love of God just don’t do it. There’s nothing worse than having a sweaty body pressed against you (not in the good way) whilst hungover. And at prime time on a sweltering summer’s day, the smells, quite frankly, can rival the ones at la Boqueria. At the same time standing up and doing some unbalanced swaying may resemble last night’s dancing, but it certainly won’t do any good for this morning’s hangover.
7. Do- Go to Parc Ciutadella and do a bit of dog watching
When the Beatles sang ‘All you need is love’ they were quite clearly referring to when you’re hungover and desperately craving a little affection. Where better to receive that affection than from a lovable loyal companion—a dog. If you don’t have your own dog you can simply head to Parc Ciutadella where you can steal someone else’s for a few hours. Please note that rule 3 can also be implemented here.
So there we have it, 7 key rules that will help you survive the hangover from hell. Your top guide to getting your fill of nap time, post night out drinking and animal affection whilst still guarding your super hip reputation. And who knows, when you do get to the end of the day having survived your demon of a hangover you may just be fighting fit and ready to do it all over again. Or maybe not…