Reflecting on the New Normal

It’s been three months since we began the confinement process here in Barcelona. Funny to look back now and to realize how little we knew of where we’d be two weeks from then, never mind three months. So here we are, the city and nearby towns begin to wake and the noisy, grinding sounds of people moving are present again. I notice the temporary comfort that the semblance of normality creates and the lingering curiosity of imagining the continuation of a quieter world. 

Remember that first week of confinement, when we functioned within a mild shock-like state? There was so much to come to terms with, so many questions and relatively little information as the world was figuring out what it was experiencing. In those early days the word surreal was used at least once per day. The grief and soberness was also palpable, we reflected and grappled with understanding what was happening, the consequences, the losses and the uncertainty of the future. Our worlds shrunk overnight as everything came to a halt, motionless streets, shuttered storefronts and empty trains reflected the new realities. 

On the Inside Looking Out

We found ourselves remembering places we had visited, forests we had walked in and being close to other’s bodies without a thought to social distancing. These bittersweet memories all wrapped in gratitude and grief grew stronger by the day. The first two weeks passed and it became clear that a longer pause was required. We struggled to find meaning in these new internal settings, to come to trust the images on our screens of our work peers, our teachers, our family and friends now digitized and subject to pixelization. We adjusted slowly day by day and despite the deficits, we noticed other skills and strengths developing, we found hope. 

An event such as this one, a worldwide pandemic, created a wave across the globe that has and continues to affect each and every one of us. It activates parts of us that have been dormant and forces us to find new ways to connect to each other and ourselves. As the outer world shrunk, the inner expanded and we found ourselves looking more deeply at ourselves, the world and the possibilities for the future. Some of us found new ways to spend our time, learning new skills, beginning new projects, and challenging ourselves to commitments of all kinds. For others, however, motivation was absent and our processing brought us to slower rhythms and unhurried days, where reflection and process took us on an internal, private path. Regardless of how we choose to respond to the changes in our world, the processing and integration continues.

Looking Back

Looking back at these three months, I’m in awe of our ability to adjust and accommodate to changes, I mean, of course, I realize that it is indelibly tied to our survival and our ability to thrive in new environments, but it’s always interesting to see it in action. Change, however, does not come easily for most of us, we hold on to our ideas of stability, permanency, consistency as if it time could stand still, but in reality, it is often through sudden change and the unsettling of the status quo that what is truly needed comes to be. We often resist this reality, deny it somehow, we struggle to keep even the hurtful patterns in place simply because they’ve been there and changing them would uncover the empty space we’d need to face. But actually, nothing is empty, not even space, when we allow ourselves to change, when we allow patterns to drop off and shed, we are often surprised by the new insight, perspectives, experiences and realities that have surfaced and taken its “empty” place. 

The last three months surely have pushed us in this direction, despite the discomfort and the grief, old patterns have yielded and we managed to create new routines, to find new ways to connect and to process the unprecedented experiences we find ourselves in. We reached out to others and found ourselves being gifted with music, dance, concerts and events of every kind that reminded us that we were not alone and allowed for connection and channels towards hope. We experienced collectiveness like never before, offering gratitude for those at the forefront of human needs and learning to experience the unity of the human race. We learned and were humbled by the planet’s readiness to heal, to regain ground that had seemed lost forever and we celebrated the return of the animals to the world that had been previously theirs. 

A New Normal

Looking around the planet right now, I’m reminded of a world that is waking despite it’s divisive, fractured and polarized appearance. Thousands of years-old systems are being challenged and asked to give way; this is not an easy process and although it may take generations, it cannot be stopped. I can’t help wondering how much the changes we’re experiencing, to revamp, review, and replace systems around the world have been in some way due to the COVID-19 pandemic. The opportunities this planetary crisis offers us are truly unmeasurable, despite the senselessness of the losses, it has forced us to pay attention, to look more deeply at our choices and the systems that have up to now held these outdated patterns in place. We begin to recognize that we have been changed in spite of our stubbornness to remain the same. 

As we return to the outside world and begin to integrate the new normal into our lives, I wonder if you can consider participating in this exercise that might assist to greater reflection and integration, to more space and understanding as to what you have been through in these last three months. I invite you to spend some time with these questions, you may want to write or record your answers and notice what areas of your life become highlighted as you examine each one. You might consider engaging others, family or friends, in this activity as each one reflects and answers these individually. It might be fun to write everything down in a letter that you will mail to yourself many months from now. So for now, as you consider the possibilities inherent in these questions, I remind you to be faithfully kind and understanding to yourself, after all, remember you are living through a worldwide pandemic, no small task. 

•     What has been most challenging in all of this so far?
•     What has been enjoyable?
•     Have you surprised yourself in how you’ve reacted to things?
•     Are there words that can describe your experience overall so far?
•     What have you let go of so far?
•     What do you feel has been gained up to now?
•     What do you want to change in the near future?
•     What do you want to change in the long term?
•     Is there something you will miss about this time?
•     What would you tell your future self about this time you’ve lived?
•     What would your future self tell you about this time you have lived?
•     What can you tell future generations about this time you’ve lived?

Isa Soler is a US trained and licensed psychotherapist specializing in trauma related issues currently practicing in Barcelona. She enjoys living and working in this part of Catalunya as well as discovering, experiencing and documenting the changing nature of our world. You can connect with Isa on LinkedIn and read her blog at: expattherapybarcelona.com.