Coaching Column: Find the Balance

Dear Sam,

I’ve always been someone who loves to dabble in a million things at the same time. As a contractor and freelance consultant, I have a lot of flexibility in terms of who I work for and the jobs I take on. This is something I love, but I often find myself overwhelmed by how much I have on my plate. Sometimes I have lulls when there isn’t a lot going on, yet other times it becomes too much to handle and I am paralysed by inaction. Then, of course, there’s my social life and relationships, which I can barely squeeze in when things are so overwhelming. I want to be able to keep freelancing, making my own schedule and choosing the work I do, but I don’t want to do it to the detriment of my health or sanity. Any advice on how to achieve a better balance and not spread myself so thin?

Thanks so much,

Thinly Spread

Hi Thinly Spread,

You sound like you have a zest for life, which is refreshing. What you’re going through is normal, and it’s even more normal for a freelancer or someone who makes their own schedule. The freedom that comes with flexibility is great, yet at the same time it can be overwhelming as we never really switch off.

There are things that you can do to manage your time and stop spreading yourself so thin, but before we delve into that, try to answer the following questions. It is important to examine the reasons behind the problem in order to get to the heart of the issue.

What is causing you to be so thinly spread? Do you take on so much because you’re worried about finances? Are you afraid to say no? Or are you genuinely interested in a lot of different projects and want to do everything? How are you organising your time?

Once you have reflected on these questions, ask yourself three things:

1. What would your ideal situation look like?
2. What needs to change so that you can make that happen?
3. How important is it to make these changes?

We’re often moving so fast that we don’t stop to ask ourselves why we’re doing what we’re doing, and whether our actions are actually adding value to our lives—or if we’re just going through the motions and doing what we think we ‘should’ do. Here are a few tangible tips that might help you find a better balance:

1. Cut the fat. Take an inventory of everything you’re currently doing. Note it down as if you were recording what’s inside a shop or how many pairs of shoes you have. Then ask yourself if each item is serving you and if it’s in line with where you want to go (see next tip). If the answer is no, or if there are items on your list that don’t excite you, cross them off. Find a way to finish the project, end the contract or phase things out.

2. Decide what’s important to you. Sometimes we spread ourselves too thin because we aren’t sure what we really want, so we take on everything. Ask yourself what’s important to you professionally and personally right now. Write it down—when we express things on paper we make them real—and then see if what you’re doing (inventory list above) lines up with your goals and priorities. Are there things on that list that have no relation to what you’re striving for? If so, why are they on the list? Even if you enjoy doing those things, do they need to be done now or can you do it at a later date when you have more time and energy?

3. Say No! For many of us, saying no is extremely challenging. We don’t want to disappoint people, miss opportunities or be seen as someone who can’t get things done. However, the number one piece of advice from some of the most successful business people today is to say no! When we say no, we are taking decisive action, and we open ourselves up to other options that are potentially better suited for us.