Interview: Venus O'Hara

Venus O'Hara is a British, Barcelona-based fetish model, writer and sex consultant.

I’ve lived in Barcelona since May 2002. I was looking for a ‘Spanish Paris’ and I found everything I wanted from a city here.

I got into fetish modelling years ago when I was working at a printing company. One of my clients was the Erotic Review and I sent them some photos of myself as a joke. They were looking for someone to play the character of secretary ‘Tilly Johnson’, who had a monthly column with photos and was the face of the Erotic Review’s marketing literature, and thought I’d be the perfect choice.

I enjoyed the experience so much, I began to model in more photosets, styled and directed by myself and produced for my fetish photo-blog.

How I live my life now is all me. If anything, it was only when I had conventional jobs that I had to hide my real personality. Fetishism is a way of life and it’s a relief to be myself full-time, finally.

My latest book, Love Me Like You Hate Me—co-written with Erika Lust—shows the world of sadomasochism in a new light. I’m very keen to educate people that non-scary S&M and fetishism isn’t just possible but is a lot of fun.

Being a fetishist, it’s never easy to find a playmate so I suppose my personal life is the same as it has always been. I’ve always had a strong personality and some men find it intriguing whereas others can find it intimidating. I’m not emotionally involved with anyone at the moment, so jealousy, etc. isn’t an issue. However, I believe that in the fetish world, boundaries and expectations are much clearer than in normal relationships.

I have several slaves and they are very useful. They serve me by correcting my Spanish texts, marketing my website (www.venusohara.org), sending me clothes, jewellery, cosmetics and chocolate, taking my bins down… I don’t have a sexual relationship with any of them.

I tend to work late, so I like to spend many evenings writing for my web. When I’m not writing, I’m either interacting with my slaves or out having a drink with friends in Gràcia or in the Born.

I have a monthly column in the print edition of Spanish GQ and I like to give advice that nobody expects to read in a sex column. Basically, I want to help the readers become better and more confident lovers.

I think S&M is present in most human relationships. I just try and make sure I’m always in control! If you want to get noticed and be obeyed, I would recommend wearing heels that make noise when you walk, good posture, speaking slowly and always maintaining eye contact when you are talking to someone.

I don’t read books anymore. I am in the fortunate position of being able to lie back and listen to a slave reading a book to me. My recent favourite has to be Venus in Furs, which was read to me five pages at a time.